Years later now when I recall those experiences I end up laughing at myself. But, those subtle experiences made sure life is not insipid. Today while chatting with my close buddies over a cup of coffee discussing those episodes, sharing our own understating about love we get to laugh aloud at ourselves and mock each other. And I can vouch that- there’s no greater joy then laughing at our own immaturity and acts of stupidity.
After completing school when I began my tryst with life I did not have any serious face off with love. Those very few brief rendezvous, what I later concluded were mere infatuations or crushes (as per modern connotation). After sweet and sour experiences one question that kept buzzing on my mind- what is all about being in a relationship, its success or failure, and why people even after over-pouring with love are always turned down?
The greatest lessons on love was imparted by my parents. Bearing a slightly reserve personality they were the only people in front of whom I could keep blabbering. Though during the initial years of adolescence I was shy to open up on topics like love and relationships, but only during the later years I became more vocal about these. This made my life a cakewalk! I could see things with more clarity.
During most of the times our attraction or liking for someone is so intense that we began planning the next three generations with that person. About realising if this is the relationship I am looking for- what dad told me was- when such a moment comes we need not seek somebody else’s suggestion on it. It will be I who would be asking the questions and it would be I would answer them. Sounds complicated? But, when it’s the right time things will get simplified.
On the philosophy behind a fulfilling relationship according to him, is when we are aware of the balance of equal amounts of support and challenge. We require this equilibrium of positive and negative in order to grow and evolve. It’s therefore crucial to understand that we all own and display all personality traits such as generous and mean, kind and cruel, considerate and inconsiderate etc., in equal quantities. Too often we expect our partner to be a one-sided being – only kind and considerate, but this will only lead to frustration, disappointment and withdrawal when our partner inevitably expresses the other side. But as soon as we breakthrough the limitation of our perception, we will move into the dance, which will assist our relationship to grow in maturity and mutual appreciation.
The friction, supplementary expectations and materialism that comes in relationships of my generation compels me to question the existence of true love. But, when I look back at them my believe in love replenishes. But, I also espy snippets of confusion in me. I wonder if my generation can have lovers who are so deeply, madly and intensely in love with each other. I might be skeptical but perhaps, that's one reason why I couldn't find a match till date. What I will expect for is a relationship of such reverence. A relationship with similar sanctity as theirs. Being loved and to love, love that might break us, but still keep us together. Love that may create distances but will still bring a closeness. Love that is true and would be forever! Which is bit difficult to find in people of my generation.
They say first love is never forgotten and it leaves a mark on us. Perhaps it changed me too. It was during those days when I began writing poetry. Though the love perished somewhere, but sometimes there’s her mild fragrance in my poetry. Over the years my poetry has changed attires but the poet is still same as before. Well, after reading my entire piece you might wonder what happened to the girl I mentioned at the beginning.
After finishing school, I never met her again. But, thanks to this webbed era- few years later I connected to her through social media. We never exchanged any messages. Occasionally I only clicked the like button silently to appreciate her photos, similar to those school days when I sneak peeped to espy her snippet in between classes. And recently I learned through one of my friends that she is getting married next month.
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